Review of the Draft Fifth National Climate Assessment (2023) / Chapter Skim
Currently Skimming:
Appendix A: Line-by-Line Comments
Appendix A: Line-by-Line Comments
Pages 267-324
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From page 267... ...
. 2 P7/L10 Suggest adding "since the [Fourth National Climate Assessment (NCA4)
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From page 268... ...
However, annual variability like this can mean that climate impacts that were projected to occur at a given global warming level may occur even before projections indicated. In addition, temperatures in different parts of the world could be warmer than the global average.
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From page 269... ...
The Committee suggests indicating that CO2 is the largest driver of climate change. 20 P7/L12-14 Suggest adding a discussion of emissions and sinks in the United States and using the word "net" before "US GHG emissions." The second sentence in this paragraph should align with any changes made in Chapter 32 (Mitigation)
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From page 270... ...
While there is a lot of literature on climate change impacts on cold weather recreation, particularly skiing (e.g., Wobus et al., 2017) there appears to less literature on effects on warm weather recreation, but new literature has been published in recent years (e.g., Chan and Wichman, 2020, 2022; Gellman and Wibbenmeyer, 2022)
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From page 271... ...
Please use words that are supported by evidence on inequitable impacts. 33 P13/L35 Suggest defining redlining for broad audiences.
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From page 272... ...
. 46 P20/L27-31 There is an implication here that these extreme events and other changes are directly due to climate change.
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From page 273... ...
50 P22/L13-14 Suggest adding "among other actions" to the end of this sentence. 51 P22/L24 The word "devastating" may not be appropriate for a scientific report.
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From page 274... ...
Since the latter comes from a chapter about economics rather than international impacts, the Committee suggests citing that projection instead of the international GDP projection. 62 P26/L9-15 Authors should mention justice concerns regarding mitigation and adaptation (i.e., that mitigation and adaptation are done in a way that does not adversely impact already overburdened communities)
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From page 275... ...
We also note that the literature on annual recreation impacts does not find there will be a reduction in overall recreational but most certainly a reduction in some aspects, such as skiing, and adverse impacts on many warm weather recreation activities from extreme events and fire. 72 P29/L13 The title should be "cultures, heritages, and traditions." 73 P29/L14-15 The language in the sentence is sweeping and the Committee questions whether it is fully supported by the draft NCA5 report.
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From page 276... ...
What about carbon sequestration or other options to reduce radiative forcing? The sentence on transformative mitigation and adaptation is policy prescriptive.
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From page 277... ...
This could be considered policy prescriptive. 92 P39/L9-16 This is a very important paragraph that should be rewritten in language that broad audiences can understand.
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From page 278... ...
Also suggest removing the reference to Figure 2.5 here, because it does not relate to acceleration. 8 P11/L9-12 Suggest adding the role of Pacific Ocean-atmosphere variability (i.e., Pacific Decadal Oscillation [PDO]
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From page 279... ...
21 P29/L2 "Nonlinearly" is likely not an accessible word for broad audiences. 22 P34/L1 The key message title here differs from the title elsewhere.
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From page 280... ...
Suggested modification: "Climate change is increasing the frequency, of water-related disasters in the United States and causing greater exposure and vulnerability to these disasters." 2 P3/L13-15 The statement about water security seemingly has nothing to do with the next sentence about water quality. It leaves the audiences to deduce the relation between climate impacts to water quality and water security.
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From page 281... ...
9 P5/L27-29 Suggest describing the water cycle and any natural variability. Then discuss climate change impacts to the water cycle.
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From page 282... ...
Thus, the citations included here should be adjusted accordingly. 22 P15/L4 It is not immediately clear what "the frontlines of climate change" are and this should be defined for broad audiences.
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From page 283... ...
27 P16/L11 This text does not mention climate change until the fourth paragraph and instead seems to expect the audiences to infer that the discussion pertains to climate change. Suggest improving clarity and focus of language to focus on specific climate change impacts to drought.
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From page 284... ...
Under current severe drought conditions, water rights holders in the Colorado River basin, including Mexico, tribal nations, states, and other interested parties are struggling to adapt under the existing legal framework -- one that was mistakenly based on the assumption of continued flows and on an above average historic estimate of total water available to apportion. While some of these efforts include tribes...." See suggested citation (Garofalo, 2019)
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From page 285... ...
50 P26/L26 Consider mentioning the status of the long-standing discussions of measured pan evaporation trends (or lack thereof) in this context in this traceable account (given the strong assertion regarding future evaporative demands here)
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From page 286... ...
, this statement that extreme events will increase amounts to a non sequitur (not an incorrect statement, but it does not follow from the "evidence" of the first half of the sentence)
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From page 287... ...
7 P5-6/L17-7 Suggest adding brief discussion in first paragraph of this section on oil and gas delivery that discusses what oil and gas are used for besides electricity so that even in a "transitioned" world, their development, use, and delivery is relevant. 8 P5/L21 Use of the term "risks" in this case does not seem to conform to recommendations of the IPCC on risk language.
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From page 288... ...
20 P9/L31 It might be valuable to note that overburdened communities are likely to disproportionately benefit from decarbonization by way of reduced ground, water, and air pollution and potentially by the and increased resilience and addition of jobs from renewable energy. 21 P9/L32 If this sentence applies to climate impacts to energy systems, add that to the sentence: "Overburdened communities are disproportionately affected by climate impacts to energy systems." 22 P11/L9ff This should start several steps earlier (i.e., "higher winter temperatures" lead to "insects survive winter" leads to "infestations damage and kill trees" leads to "increased tinder," etc.)
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From page 289... ...
30 P20/L14-15 Expressing confidence that frequency and intensity of extreme events will increase seems to be a broader statement of confidence than generally accepted in the professional literature since it seems to encompass all types of extreme events and cover all locations in the United States (and presumably territories)
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From page 290... ...
CHAPTER 7: FORESTS # Page/Line Comment 1 P3/L1 The introduction could set up the key messages more. Perhaps it would be nice to see some introductory synopsis of what the message is and how we know it with confidence.
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From page 291... ...
15 P14/L12 Change to "...are a critical component of the hydrological system and the provision of clean water." We do not think "forests produce water" is the intended meaning. 16 P15/L1-3 State that this is an example of how climate change affects forest changes and in turn other impacts, in this case water flow and flooding.
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From page 292... ...
. 12 P20/L12 Table 8.1 is informative, but the Committee suggests adding a column identifying where this risk occurs in the United States.
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From page 293... ...
16 P33/L35-37 It is not necessarily useful to think of range shifts as being driven by extreme weather events. Extreme events are likely to affect population processes via mortality and so forth, especially in combination with other global change stressors.
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From page 294... ...
. 5 P5/L28-29 Consider adding ENSO events to the list of impactful extreme events for marine ecosystems.
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From page 295... ...
Is that what the authors intended? 4 P3/L7 Recommend stronger first sentence, such as "recent science shows how climate change is having cascading and compounding effects on the built environment." 5 P3/L12 Suggest cross-referencing Chapters 5 (Energy Supply, Delivery, and Demand)
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From page 296... ...
19 P10/L15 Suggest referencing health impacts broadly instead of using "diseases such as asthma." 20 P11/L12 Suggest adding a specific example about the disproportionate burden on populations. For instance, Houston's urban heat island mapping showed a 17-degree difference between two neighborhoods on the same time and same day.
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From page 297... ...
If this information is not clear, consider rewording. 34 P14/L18 Suggest adding "and for climate adaptation and resilience." This statement is incomplete without this additional information as this section is covering both mitigation and adaptation.
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From page 298... ...
49 P20/L3 Consider "residents'" interests instead of "citizens'." 50 P22/L2 Consider explaining why cities are underreporting GHG emissions. 51 P27/L5 Consider resident support instead of citizen support.
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From page 299... ...
Is the second sentence referring to just the west or the entire Unites States? 4 P5/L7-9 Suggest linking wildfire smoke to air quality first then associating it with impacts, and suggest defining cardiovascular-, cerebrovascular-, and respiratory-related health issues in line or providing examples of each.
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From page 300... ...
15 P11/L29-33 Suggest referencing Chapter 16 (Tribes and Indigenous Peoples) for these two sentences.
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From page 301... ...
Salazar (2009) prohibited contemporary land restoration for certain Indigenous peoples that historically acted on colonialist laws and policies." 10 P10/L11-12 Please add transition sentence between first paragraph to the second paragraph under "relocation." 11 P10/L25 Do these opportunities (a range of options)
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From page 302... ...
13 P13/L15-16 Suggest providing examples of coordinated infrastructure projects that mutually support one another. 14 P13/L16 Please correct to be "Indigenous peoples'." 15 P14/L19 "Knowledge" can be both singular and plural: suggest removing the "s" from "knowledges." 16 P15/L3 The term "peoples" is more commonly used than "persons." 17 P15/L15 Please correct to be "Bureau of Indian Affairs'." 18 P16/L26 Suggest adding the research term, "land-based healing incitive" (Johnson-Jennings et al., 2020; Redvers, 2020)
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From page 303... ...
7 P16-17/L26- Traceable account for Key Message 18.1: The Committee questions 10 the ranking of high confidence in this emerging field. Many of the findings are based on one study, Reed et al.
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From page 304... ...
research gap" and remove "research." 14 P26/L8-9 Add "is" between "Much of that literature [is] also based…." CHAPTER 21: NORTHEAST # Page/Line Comment 1 P4/L18 Suggest using more recent projections if possible, and the statement could benefit from some people-focused context 2 P4/L27 Suggest expanding this discussion.
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From page 305... ...
18 P16/L18 Perhaps "genital and urinary" rather than "genitourinary." 19 P16/L23-33 Important to integrate the idea of a just transition here with broad implications not only for energy insecure populations but also for impacts to fossil fuel-dependent livelihoods and communities particularly in West Virginia. 20 P17/L22-23 Suggest adding "structural, political, and socioeconomic." 21 P17/L33 Suggest adding "and burdens" so the sentence reads "…benefits and burdens…." 22 P18/L17-20 The sentence could be interpreted as being policy prescriptive.
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From page 306... ...
Suggest clarifying by stating that "annual precipitation has increased," not that "it increased annually." 4 P5/L3-7 It is not clear that the left panel is properly explained and related to the others. 5 P8/L18 Please change to "crop insurance losses continue." 6 P10/L8, 11 There is no likelihood statement.
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From page 307... ...
21 P29/L8 Suggest citing literature that demonstrates change versus variability. 22 P30/L7 Change "impact of" to "impact on." CHAPTER 25: NORTHERN GREAT PLAINS # Page/Line Comment 1 P4/L1-3 Suggest defining the region; which states are included?
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From page 308... ...
A rewrite could be something like this: "Climate change impacts and mitigation efforts are expected to increase energy demand across North America. Higher summer temperatures and heatwaves are expected to increase energy demand across the country, while higher winter temperatures
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From page 309... ...
18 P20/L19 Offset "and exacerbating existing" with commas. 19 P20/L27 Rather than contextualize this as "renewable and nonrenewable" suggest "shifts in energy demand, production, and policy will change land-use needs for low and zero carbon energy infrastructure and development" to improve consistency with other chapters in the report (Chapters 5 [Energy Supply, Delivery, and Demand]
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From page 310... ...
31 P29/L8-9 The sentence reads as being policy prescriptive but can be easily revised to be policy informative, for example, "In response to flooding, improved monitoring was instituted…." 32 P30/L33-36 This sentence should mention public lands. 33 P32/L12 With the image above, it is hard to tell what "this work" is referencing -- the image in Figure 25.10 or the previous text?
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From page 311... ...
. 2 P6/L3 Should be "Table 27.1." 3 P7/L1 Suggest key message title be more of a statement: "Frontline Communities Affected Most by Climate Impacts." 4 P7/L19 Remove "are" in "While are many types of…." 5 P9/L8 Suggest "community resilience" instead of "community resiliency." 6 P9/L16 Suggest chapter references include the chapter title, consistent with other chapters.
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From page 312... ...
29 P25/L9 Suggest key message title be more of a statement. 30 P25/L16 "Climate resilience" instead of "Climate resiliency." 31 P26/L3 Spell out "BIPOC" since first time using this acronym or replace with "people of color" to be more consistent with language used throughout the chapter.
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From page 313... ...
Please revise to acknowledge, correct, or coordinate the assumption here with that finding. 15 P15/L16 Consider adding "forestry" to this list of vulnerable producers.
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From page 314... ...
21 P19/L33 Consider adding pre-natal, natal, and neo-natal outcomes to this list (e.g., Amjad et al., 2021)
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From page 315... ...
36 P26/L14 Does the forestry industry belong in this list of vulnerable industries? 37 P26/L14 It would be worth including the forestry industry itself in this list.
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From page 316... ...
The traceable account should not introduce new citations. CHAPTER 29: ALASKA # Page/Line Comment 1 P3/L4-6 Suggest adding references for, "glaciers are shrinking, permafrost is thawing, and sea ice is diminishing.
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From page 317... ...
20 P9/L1-3 Suggest adding references to support this statement and use more precise language than "many Alaskans". 21 P9/L14-16 This could be strengthened with more references.
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From page 318... ...
36 P20/L11-12 Consider adding references here for how climate change is impacting each species listed. 37 P21/L5-10 Suggest adding references.
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From page 319... ...
This could be a reference for the other boxes. 51 P32/L12 Change "would" to "will." 52 P39/L29 Consider adding climate impacts on other racial/ethnic groups in Alaska to the research gaps section.
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From page 320... ...
10 P13/L24 Suggest adding wildfire to this list.
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From page 321... ...
17 P18/L14 Suggest adding the chapter title with the reference. 18 P18/L18-25 The paragraph is policy prescriptive but can be rewritten.
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From page 322... ...
Suggest adding projections 50 and 100 years into the future to meet statutory charge. In this first section, suggest including citations for where all the data are from.
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From page 323... ...
is not clear in what it is depicting, and the caption is not helpful to describe it. Suggest adding labels to the figure on the y axis and indicating the timescale on the graph.
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From page 324... ...
APPENDIX 3 # Page/Line Comment 1 P A3-3/L1-7 Figure should be self-standing so more information about each panel needs to be presented. APPENDIX 4 # Page/Line Comment 1 P A4-8/L3-22 The discussion on billion-dollar disasters needs to note the complexity of this indicator and how it is not just influenced by change in frequency and intensity of extreme events but also by exposure to such events.
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